i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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