these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
