This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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