the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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