Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
