thus making me awesome and them whores
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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