I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
