Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
