Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
