She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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