and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
