well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there was a trapeze. enough said
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
