I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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