So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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