I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
