she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
