The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
