I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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