We're facebook friends in real life
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
