You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
