I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dignity is for republicans.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
