Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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