i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
