can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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