Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
