where am i from again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
