You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
