my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
