Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
