Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
