I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
