So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
