question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
