well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
