Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am available for nakedness
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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