It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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