i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
