When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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