He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
