wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
