Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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