is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
