all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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