dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
