Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
