what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
