she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
