is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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