Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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