i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
