I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
