My sheets look like a crime scene.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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