just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
