I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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