she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
